>366 – Day 16

Written by InnocentCharmer. Posted in 2012, 366, addison, baby, boy, disabled, family, GIRL, grayson, miracle, photo, photographs, siblings

>This is to date my favourite 366 picture, not because its fancy or by any means the best picture I have taken but because of it’s content and the rarity of a moment caught.

For those of you who don’t know my son has a rare genetic disorder and brain damage, he does not like his sister being anywhere near him and usually screams or pulls her hair, but tonight for nearly a minute Grayson allowed Addison to cuddle him, rub his back and lean on him, it was the most amazing thing I have seen since Addison has been born, there is hope.

>Happy 6 Months

Written by InnocentCharmer. Posted in 2011, 6 months, addison, baby, family, GIRL, grayson, love, mummy, PND, siblings

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1 minutes after being born

Dear Addison,

I  can’t believe we have got here, 6 months ago today I was lying in a hospital room praying you would be ok, crying in pain and wishing your life would start better than your big brothers.
What Mummy didn’t prepare herself for I think was what was about to happen.

You came into the world tinier than I had imagined, you were beautiful just like your brother but with killer lips and I was thankful that by all intense purposes you were ok, you had your little problems for the 1st 24hrs but then you came home.

You fell in love with your brother at 1st sight, I wish I could say the same for him but you know he struggles, you had your problems, you cried and cried and barely slept but you had a poorly belly and it was not your fault.

I am sorry Addy though, Mummy was not prepared in her mind for a perfect baby, I think I was so worried for you, I had not thought what it would be like when you finally arrived, Mummy struggled and is still struggling and for that I am so sorry. I loved and love you more than I can write but I am sorry I could not give you the affection and tenderness you needed in those first few weeks, one day I shall explain to you the difficulties of PND and the shame attached to it, I feel shame everyday for my actions my little one but I know I love you and nothing can falter that.

I am so proud to see such a warm, kind, beautiful, little minx appearing before my eyes, you are so full of life and intrigue, I have not seen such interest and excitement before in someone so small, your smile lights a room, you hold peoples attention the minute there eyes reach yours, you already have such a fantastic talent to wrap anyone around your finger.

Polkadot Princess at 5 months

Most importantly my beautiful daughter I can see how you watch your brother, you idolise him, I can see in your eyes you already know he differs from you, but it bothers you not, instead you are trying to mirror everything he does, from sucking your thumb, to eating labels and chewing your toes, you would even rather bum shuffle than crawl even though your strength does not permit.
I know in my heart you will love Grayson more than any other person on this planet, I know you shall be in his corner for life and that make Mummy very proud.

Lastly Addison don’t ever think you are not as special to me as your brother, there shall be times when Mummy and Daddy can not be with you, where we shall have to be by your brothers side in hospital or away but you my child are extra special as you shall understand this and smile.

I love you Addy Wad’s, you are the child I have waited for, for a very long time, Happy 6 Months and here is to so many more birthdays together.