I can’t believe you are 51 Months old today, how can this be, you are still my baby. Some days it feels like you have been a part of my life forever, others I feel like I have only just blinked.
You are my world, my beautiful son, you make me smile every time I see you, I am the luckiest lady alive to have you in my life, to have you impact on my heart, to have you inspire me to be a person I never knew I could be.
By the end of this year, you will no longer be my only son, you will be my eldest, I am so excited for your brother to enter our world, but I can’t imagine having 2 sons, I can’t imagine I can love another little boy like I do you, I am not sure how I will cope with no longer being able to tell you “You are the most handsome boy in the whole world”, because in my heart you truly are. You are such a beautiful child, not only to the naked eye, but inside, a little boy who deals with such hardness, pain, upset yet continues to enjoy his life in his own very way, making people smile every time they see you, making people’s hearts feel with love at your courage and bravery.
Also by the end of this year you shall be in school, this is making Mummies tummy ache, I am not ready to let you go, I do not have the trust to hand you over, but I know it is for the best, I know they look after special boys and girls like you every day and that you will get to experience a new world I can not show you, but you will always be my baby.
You have shown great strength this past few months, you have shown that doctors are not always right. Your physical abilities have been immense, you have learnt to stand with support, on hips that should not be able to, you have learnt to pull yourself up on a left arm that is weakened due to strokes, you have learnt to climb with determination and you have even learnt on occasion to protect and save yourself, with a brain that before said NO.
You have taken to our new home so well, only taking days to become accustomed with your new surroundings, only days of going to a quiet place till you felt safe, you are amazing.
You gained weight, ok only a pound but this is HUGE, no feeding tube this year my brave solider, 4 years and counting of you fighting them, fighting what the world put on you, I wish I could hear your voice as it has become so deep these past months, I can close my eyes and imagine your words, you telling me “No, Mummy” or “I want Chocolate Mum”.
Lastly I thank you for your patience, the way you have allowed your sister into your world just a little this past month, she will always be your best friend, she will be the one fighting your corner, she loves you more than anything on this earth and the fact that you have allowed her to come close and even touch you makes Mummy and Daddy’s hearts ache. To see our babies together is a feeling I can not describe, so thank you for being brave.
I love you Rara, you have my heart and soul as long as it is alive, you are the most handsome boy in the world.