I nearly had a little heart attack this morning, as I was packing my lunch for work Addison shouted across the room
How many more sleepies Mummy ?
Till what Addison I replied, till I go to Big Girl School Mama – I nearly gasped as I looked on the calendar and realised a week today she will be having her first day!
How has this come round so fast, she was only born yesterday I am sure of it, we were only starting the Summer holidays days ago weren’t we ?
Now in a weeks time my little girl 5 days a week will be away from me, she will be looked after by someone else, if she is sad I won’t be there, I won’t see all these amazing experiences she will get to do, see her smile as she plays in the playground – or what if she feels alone.
I am really struggling with the thought of her being gone, I am not sure why, she isn’t my first and Grayson was like sending baby to school (it still is), she can walk, talk, express herself, so why am I so frightened ? Seriously I feel fearful for her going.
I think it is because she is a sweet soul, I know everyone thinks that of their children, but she really is. She makes friends with someone the second she meets them and she falls hard if they don’t return that kindness, I wanted her to be tougher than that, I was just like her at school and I struggled so much so maybe that is why I have such fear, I always hoped she would be more like her Daddy, a little tougher on the outside.
She loves school, if she makes friends then I know she will have the most amazing time, she has attended PreSchool since she was 2 and loved it, going 7 hour days and never crying unless because she didn’t want to leave, always desperate to get through that door and play/learn, be educated, I am sure school will offer the same excitement to her.
So today I have to go and buy her uniform, yes awful I know but I think I really could not accept the reality, I have to close my heavy heart and be all smiles for my beautiful girl.
I have to whisper to the powers at be please look after my little girl and bring sweet friends into her life.