Last week I wrote a very frank and honest post – it shared all the pain I have been suffering these past months and how it is not allowing me to smile – I went back and forth on whether to post, I feel like the blogging/online friends I have should only see Happy Kara and that is why I kept myself off-line this past month or so.
As I kept re reading and deciding whether to hit publish the ding of a Facebook private message sounded – on the other end one of the most amazing ladies, a woman I feel so honured calls me a friend. She always inspires me, she knows what to say to make me realise the right answer – like a good friend should.
So after much back and forth I listened to something she said to me this morning and decided to leave that post in drafts, her words of wisdom ….
If I focus on what I don’t have, then I will receive nothing. If I focus as though happiness is already mine, then the universe will notice that.
She is so so right, I was told I could never have children, we just started the 1st stage of the IVF plan and I found out I was 11 weeks pregnant with my miracle son.
I thought I would never see the end of the awful everyday I was living when I met Ashley and then he arrived in my life and became my soulmate, my best friend, my everything.
So today I am starting again, I know it wont be easy, with many health problems mentally and physically I am constantly being thrown challenges, but I will find a way. I am going to look for the Happiness – I am not naive, this is not a cure, this will not take away my dark depression, but it will allow me to smile, if only briefly, I am lucky, I have 3 beautiful children, I have been living and married to my best friend for over 10 years and I have some close friends now that I trust, that love me no matter my mood.
Today I am going to make a mark and write my Happiness list from the past 2 months, then on a dark day I will come back and focus on these not the bad!
Thank you to Travelodge who made it possible for us to go down to Bournemouth and have some much needed family time, a little break in where we got to spend time with one of the most amazing families in the world – Kirsty, Clara and little Monkey.
If you are ever looking for somewhere to go with children I can not recommend Bournemouth enough, so many wonderful things to do and see, we shall be heading back in 2015.
To a very dear friend, thank you for my little surprise post this week, the cutest little thing that may not be everyones taste, but it is something that we share a love for, I can not wait to put it up in my new home and be reminded of you.
On the subject of that… WE ARE MOVING! Finally out of the damp ridden home, into a very nice new house, it will test us financially but my children will be happy, they will be safe and hopefully it will help their health.
On November 15th we renewed our Vows after 10 years of marriage – the day was amazing, so many friends and family celebrating with us. Kirsty of Just Me Kirsty took the most beautiful photos (which I shall be sharing over the next few weeks). Children played, adults laughed, I cried, most importantly I got to share how much I love my Husband formally with my children.
My babies – it maybe cliche but I care not – they are hard work there is no mistaking but the little things they do keep me going day to day, Grayson loving Horse Riding, Addison playing Action man and putting on a gruff voice and Deacon’s cuddles, some of the best cuddles in the world.
Lastly I am so thrilled with how I have created a little Instagram community in #StyleItKids – we have nearly reached 1000 uploads in 6 weeks, it is lovely to see a community grow and see people become inspired. I have met some truly beautiful people who have helped to keep me smiling this past few weeks – so thank you to you all.
So how do you feel about looking for the Happiness? Is it something you can easily achieve ? Do you have any tips ? As I am open to trying anything to continue to smile!