How can it have been 4 years ?
4 years ago I was so excited to meet you, so apprehensive for you. I had butterflies in my stomach from the minute we found out you were there, growing inside me. I remember telling your Daddy of your existence as he bathed Grayson and Addison. We were told it would be hard but you came to us quite easily but as easily as you came you were taken.
The pain of loosing you was so much worse emotionally than I could describe. Nothing worse than people justifying you didn’t even really exist. But in my body, my soul and my heart you were already loved. I felt you, the butterflies of your beginning and I felt so hard as you were taken away from me.
My little baby, you would, you are so loved. I miss you even though I never got the pleasure of meeting you. I had dreams and aspirations for you. I think of how you would have looked, your smile, whether you would have been like your brother or your sister. That we will never know.
Your baby brother, he could not have been in my life if you had. But that does not mean I do not miss you, I do not wonder.
You were my 3rd baby and although I never got to hold you, that is your right, that is your title.
You are missed and loved. If only by me. Have fun wherever you are. Sweet dreams.