I try not to make my blog a place where I whine or whinge. I was brought up to believe your problems should be kept inside four walls and not shared with the world, although I actually do not agree with that, it is not healthy, it is something I struggle to break.
I have been gone for a while, I am not sure anyone really noticed, I have missed my blog, missed posting, missed writing posts some enjoy. But every time I logged on I just couldn’t do it. I am not sure I even can now, but I have deadlines, I am behind and that is not me, I do not like to let people down.
Life has been manic, it has not been dreadful, nothing life threatening, but I am in a hole and am struggling to see the light.
Grayson has been very unwell, his epilepsy is taking hold of him and there seems no relief, he barely even manages to be awake/functioning, let alone smile. His TA who is also his Personal Ast. at home every so often heard him laugh last week and said she had not heard that in months, that is so sad.
He has been in hospital in London for a multitude of invasive tests which hopefully will give us answers and a way to help him, but who knows, I do not hold my breath.
Both Ashley and I have ended up in hospital too, him for surgery and myself as an emergency, my health is really struggling and I am trying to find a positive attitude as that is the only thing I can do to help it.
The following few months are not slowing down, Grayson now has surgery date with probably at least a week in London, with my family split by 3 hour drives, we have Birthday’s and many more appointments, I just hope I can find my mojo, my energy, my real smile as I am the glue that holds my little house together.
I need to look to finding time to understand my head and deal with my emotions, to not grind my teeth from stress, to feel lighter and happier.
Image Source – Just Me Kirsty
So hopefully I am back, hopefully some of you will stick with me and help me through the months ahead.
Much love and thank you xxx