I Just Have To Get It Off My Chest

This is Grayson less than 7 months ago, my little boy no matter what was thrown his way always had a beautiful smile, would always make eye contact, he was never a big one for physical contact but you always got stunning pictures like these.

Then everything changed, I didn’t notice straight away, Addison had not long been born so I was tired but that is no excuse, I should have noticed Grayson was changing, I should have noticed he was un-happy, I failed him as his Mummy, over the past 5 months Grayson has become more and more distant, he refuses to make eye contact, he wont play with toys, he seems down all the time, the only change I can see in his life are his seizures. The hospital believes these seizures aren’t affecting his brain, they are a cause of brain damage already present but I am scared, I can’t see any other cause for his changes. I know at 3 he can now be diagnosed with Autism and that is always was very likely he would start to show traits but I in my head can not accept this is the cause. I am pleased to say (not sure this is right) his Specialist Nursery have noticed a personality change, they say he is even more distant and only wants to be held not to play. It pleases me as I feel like I am not going mad and the only one that feels this way.

Lack of Eye Contact

But I don’t know what to do, I have at many times felt I have failed Grayson as a parent, every time he endures pain, every time he cries when unwell and I have no idea how to comfort him, but at those times I always knew he was happy even in his own world, now I am just not sure I can say that, your child being un-happy I think most parents will agree is a HUGE fail.

About Innocent Charms Chats

Kara Janelle, Plus Size Blogging Mama. Vintage Lover, Interiors Obsessed, Chair Crazed, Collector of Much remembering to Smile as it is the 2nd best thing you can do with your mouth.