Oh Crap!

I don’t know what to write here, but I feel like I need to write, I need to see it written. Actually I have already seen it written, as I Friday received a letter in the post, which made it all very real, set a date that means I now, even if I had been able to can not put it to the back of my mind.

Months ago I one day found a lump, but stupidly and I mean stupidly, ignored it, I thought it was just another sore throat with swollen glands, I was wrong.

Luckily or not I have been very unwell these past few weeks which led me to go and see the doctor, the night before my appointment, I lay in bed and felt the lump again, I thought well as I am there I must mention this to the doctor, as most things I thought it would be nothing to worry about, I was convinced that this was just me over worrying as always, but the second I saw my Doctors face I knew this time it was not the case.

The first words that he said “Kara it’s on your Thyroid” like this was something seriously important, I am clearly not sure if I should have known the importance, but now I do, the rest of the appointment is blurry, I didn’t ask the questions I should have as I was scared/frightened and in shock.

I got home to Ash and he could see the fear in my face, I think he knew straight away that I was frightened and that the doctor had made me that way.

So a week Monday on the 28th at 4pm I shall be walking into Ultrasound Department of my local hospital, as I did last week and shall be on the 8th Feb but this time it’s not for that reason, this time I won’t be seeing my little baby Sweetpea, this time I will be finding out ??? Shit I don’t know, but I know it will affect the rest of my life either way.

By the way this post is not for pity, I just need luck, as much as I can take, cause… yes I AM TERRIFIED!

About Innocent Charms Chats

Kara Janelle, Plus Size Blogging Mama. Vintage Lover, Interiors Obsessed, Chair Crazed, Collector of Much remembering to Smile as it is the 2nd best thing you can do with your mouth.